Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Aubree's thoughts

India.  
The gym: I jog 1 km delving into my own thoughts as to avoid the stares. A shortcut is to climb over some tumbled down bricks and to the back of a tall building.  There are shops and habitations in the bottom floor of the building and it always smells of simmering masala and/or rotting food.  I climb the 6 stories of stairs ...the lift makes me nervous (I don't want to get trapped!).  There is a construction zone about 1/2 way up and I try to hold my breath to avoid asbestos.  They have not issued me a card because... well, I don't know, but they always let me in.  Sometimes they point at my shoes and tell me I can't wear the same shoes in the gym that I wore to the gym... I shrug an 'I'm sorry," because I don't have another pair of gym shoes.  There is usually a line for the 3 treadmills, so I jump on whatever cardio equipment is open and wait until a treadmill is open.  Despite feeling totally out of place with my hair, skin, and tight running capris (the women here wear loose, modest gym clothes--I have yet to see a woman wear shorts or a tank-top), I am thrilled beyond measure to be running.  Running to the beat of my own music, my own thoughts, no longer worrying about being the foreign girl who hogs the treadmills. My mind takes me to Echo Rd, or Snow Canyon.  It is beautiful. The fans above are not working and I sweat, really sweat.   After 10 minutes, the treadmill shuts off...my time is up.  Unless, there is no one in line.  I start it up again, and keep running.  Sometimes the power goes out.  No one misses a beat when this happens, they just keep on moving.  Yoga is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I don't get the same satisfaction as I do when running.  But it's India so I will do yoga.  It is relaxing.  

Walking to preschool: This was a daunting task at first.  I felt every penetrating stare and judged myself as an absolute foreign object, which I am, but it was so suffocating.  My anxiety level was high and I dreaded this 15 min  there, 15 back, 15 there and 15 back again every day.  Sometimes I would have extra kids keeping my mind occupied, other times it's just me and Hayden.  The smells of food--some good, some bad, the litter, the cows, the cow pies, the stray dogs, the women with goods on their heads, the big sewage holes in the ground, the motorcycles honking, the rickshaws honking, the cars honking, the shops with all their goods crammed in, the chai tea stands, the peddlers, the less fortunate, the fortunate, the people with healthy dogs on leashes (major status symbol), the uneven ground, the goats, the sheep, the street sweepers, the babies without diapers, the dirt, the sweat, the splatter, the hanging clothes, the little shacks, the children in school uniforms, the children with dirty clothes and no shoes.  None of these things can be avoided.  It was all so... there, so penetrating.  So strange.  So different.  So bewildering. Now I walk and I am calm. Usually.  On the way, we play the monkey and gorilla game, pretending to eat magic bananas, unless Hayden doesn't feel like playing. Sometimes Hayden really doesn't want to go to school.  I feel really sad on these days, sending him in crying and have to hold myself back from just taking him back home with me.  On one hand I feel like he is the only one getting this great opportunity to get to go to school with native children and really learn, on the other hand, I feel helpless and sad sending him in to 3 hours of 'I have no clue of what goes on in there,' and I hope my sweet boy is not traumatized from it.  He always comes out happy though, and the crying days are decreasing.  So we'll stick it out.
 On the way home I recite "The Living Christ" in my head.  Christ knows these strange bewildering people and gets them.  I wish I understood more.  But I accept what I don't know and walk on. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I wave, sometimes I say good morning.  When I get even a hint of a smile back, it is worth it.

Homeschool. Never in a million years did I think I would be a homeschooling mom.  Never.  It's not really me.  I love my kids, but I've never been that sad sending them to school.  I enjoy my own time.  I'm not that great at motivating.  I'm not that creative, or smart to be honest.  But circumstances dictate that I homeschool my girls for our time here in India.  I've got to hand it to all the homeschooling moms out there.  It's a tough job.  I've come a long way thus far, and I have a long way to go.  By the time I start to get it down, our time will be up.  So we will learn together.  My goal is to have them learn to enjoy to learn.  I hope I don't ruin that for them.   
What I've learned:1) that learning about real life stuff is what sticks.  
-Being forced to use the metric system makes it easier to learn the metric system! Baking a cake with instructions using mL instead of cups is a lesson. Walking, driving, and riding in kilometers are lessons. So yeah, we're getting that down.  
-Celebrating Diwali with Hindu neighbors has assured we will never forget that Diwali is a 'festival of lights,' and a festival of bombs going off all day and night
2) Kids are SO DIFFERENT.  I think Addy and Hope are polar opposites
3) Just because I like worksheets, doesn't mean that Hope likes worksheets
4) Setting time limits for each subject is not a good idea.  It's better to let them spend time on something if they are engaged in learning 
5) Playing is learning
6) There are learning opportunities everywhere and sometimes my explanations are better left unsaid.  It's better to let them to their own observations and ideas and I can encourage them to learn more via wikipedia or Hameed (haha)

So here's what we do.  I follow no guide book or rules
1. Scripture reading (doesn't always happen if we get up too late, I need to make this a priority subject-note to self)
2, We recite memorizations.  Articles of Faith, Preamble, Pledge, Living Christ, etc.  Unbeknownst to me, Miles memorized the 13th article of faith just by listening.  He only needs a couple prompts.
3. Math, reading, language, spelling, writing- In no particular order.  Workbooks, library books, websites, journals, blogs, we mix it up. Sometimes I wish there was more order here, but they don't always want to do the same things in the same order.  So I just ensure they hit every subject each day.
4. Culture, history, and geography. Hameed tutors the girls.  They play games (India monopoly, India travel game, and Uno (in Hindi)). He plans to take us on some field trips.  Also, the girls go to Sanskriti (Culture) kids where they do Yoga, bollywood dancing, and arts and crafts every evening. We take a Rickshaw and the boys and I visit the library and climb the hill with the goats behind the building while we wait. 
Addy is also working on the 'Give me Liberty' award. She's making good headway.   
5. PE. We do all sorts of crazy dancing or running back and forth in our flat, or running around the society outside, or we go up and down the stairs in our building, or Just Dance on YouTube.

Church.  The church is true in India!  We travel 2.5 hrs to the Mumbai branch about every other week.  On the off weeks, we have a home-group gathering between us, the Bishops, and the Guantts (2 LDS American families with similar age children living in the same city, for a similar time period---cooincidental??)  It has been a unique and neat experience gathering our 3 families as latter day saints in a city of 6 million. They are amazing people with strong testimonies.  We glean strength from them.  The Mumbai branch is bursting at the seems, so it will be moving to another building in central Mumbai.  This will make going to church more difficult for us as well as for most of the members.  The mission president spoke last week and was very passionate about the location of the new building, how the church will gain better growth  in this new area.  The people here are true pioneers.  Being a member here is even more foreign than Miles looks on a playground of Indian children.  The idea of Christianity and especially Latter-day prophets is culturally bazaar.  Yet, the members are faithful, strong, wonderful people.  Some have to sacrifice so much.  Hameed lost his family, his muslim community, his ability to obtain work, his credibility, and more.  Amazing. 
 

Value and Purpose.  We are here to enrich our lives and find value and purpose in each day and experience we have.  Craig and I have to remind each other of that daily.  There are many hard things.  We are searching for hidden treasures within the difficulties. Sometimes we get some relief after venting our frustrations, then we move forward.  Whether we touch someone's life here, or we are just preparing for another phase of life, or our children are learning compassion, or gaining perspective, or whatever it might be, there is no way of knowing how far the ripple will spread.  But my hope in this journey that a ripple starts, and that the value and purpose will not only stay with us, but spread forward.

We so appreciate the prayers and love from family and friends.  We miss you and love you!

2 comments:

smaezane said...

Aubree, thanks for writing! We think of you often. You are wonderful and brave, as usual. Love from the Zanes!

CassideeT said...

Aubree, my mom just told me that you and addy have been updating your blog. I loved your post, it was so beautifully written. And it was great to read all of Addy's as well! She is a great little writer, you must be doing some good things at homeschool ;) I am so amazed with you and your family. Really, you are my hero! Sending you lots of love!!!